She's Lost Control
by Zombabe
Summary: About a girl thrown reluctantly into the mix of Hogwarts and the marauders!
1. Chapter 1

Character: Ainsley Kit Cruz

Nickname: Kit

Blood: Pureblood

Heritage: Has Irish, Spanish, and French.

Looks: Fair olive skin, big soft greenish/hazel eyes. Small frame at five foot two weighing about 105 lbs. She has dark brown/black straight hair that goes past her shoulders. She has curves but is toned from being active in sports. (Think young Jennifer Connelly.)

Born October 13, 1961 in Nice, France to Dario Aldo Cruz and Maegan Ellionette O'Farren.

Her father is a retired auror, his wife Maegan forced him to before Ainsley was born. Now he works in the ministry of magic but never talks bout what he does exactly. Maegan for the most part is a housewife but she owns a small clothing boutique. After 3 years of living in France they moved to the United States in California.

Ainsley grew up hating her first name and would only respond to it if her parents called her by it, but she always went by Kit.

Her father and mother taught her about magic when she was about 2 years old and she grew up knowing that she and her family were wizards and witches but her mother wanted to raise Kit in an environment where muggle ways and magical ways could compromise. Both her parents decided to start teaching her how to use magic when she was young but only with their supervision. She got her wand when she was only 7 years old.

Her wand is made of 10 ¼ Willow and the core Chimaera Scale.

Sadly her father died a year after they bought her wand; her mother never told her how he had died. Her mother raised Rambo as a single parent for 4 years until she began dating a muggle man named Chris; she had met at him at her boutique. Maegan home schooled Rambo for all her magical education and saw that her daughter would grow up to be a powerful witch because she was advanced in every aspect of magic. Kit did go to school though; she went to an Arts Academy.

Ever since she was little she had a talent for music. Her father had taught her to play the piano and as she grew up with muggles she learned how to play the guitar, drums, harmonica, and loved to sing.

Personality

: Kit is an enigma of sorts. She doesn't know much about the wizardry world besides that it exists, her mother has taught her everything about magic and she has done her own homework on advancing her skills in magic. She is quick-witted and has quite the temper, but you would never be able to tell under her calm composure. She is outgoing but prefers observing. She is very intelligent and mature for her age but loves pulling pranks and acting like a child sometimes. She is rebellious and does what she wants but she does know her boundaries. She is a music junkie. She goes to shows, drinks, smokes, and swears. She wants nothing more but to be happy, yet she finds herself complicating her mind by trying to understand the world. She is a curious girl and very stubborn, she is ambitious and knows how to get what she wants. Being very impulsive gets her into trouble but the clever mind she has she always talks her way out of a punishment. She has a never ending loyalty to those she calls friend and expects nothing less in return. She is feisty and doesn't take orders from anyone but she won't push back until she is pushed to the edge and when that happens all hell breaks loose.

Maegan stopped talking to her family when she married Dario, they disowned her because she had married a 'blood-traitor'. Dario's side of the family had died fighting off the Dark Lord. That is why she was so keen on having him retire when Kit was born, she wanted her daughter to have a father. But in the end fate took him anyways. Maegan is a powerful witch and decided that the only way to keep her and her daughter safe was by keeping a low profile in the muggle world, but she continued to teach her daughter advanced magic to prepare her just in case anything would happen. Maegan never told Kit about the war or why her father died but Kit would soon find out.

It is now 1977 and Kit is 15 going 16.


	2. Chapter 2

I ran as fast as I could to my house, it was already 2:30 in the morning and my curfew was at 1:00 am. But I knew what word to use to calm my mom down. I stopped running as I walked towards the porch. I quickly sprayed myself with perfume to hide the smell of weed, cigarettes, and alcohol and I threw a mint in my mouth just in case she wanted to talk.

See my mom thinks that she is sneaky and can detect if I've done anything. I laughed at the thought of my mother ever catching on to what I did at the concerts I went to with my friends. As I opened the door, any trace of a smile was wiped off my face. I stood at the door entrance as I saw my mom pointing a kitchen knife at a cloaked figure. There was blood streaming down her face. I looked at the scene around me and before my brain could register what was happening I had jumped on top of the cloaked figure and started thrashing my arms into the person's body.

I could hear my mom in the background, "_Accio wand!"_

Her voice was void of the soothing motherly tone I had always heard and was replaced with pure panic and alarm.

The person I was on top of was throwing themselves against the wall making my hold on them weaker, fortunately for me as my strength weakened my mother came back, with her wand at hand.

"_Averte statura!" _

I let go as soon as I saw her and the cloaked figure was sent backwards into our wall.

"Go get your wand." It was a command.

I ran into her bedroom and saw Chris' body lying on the floor. His eyes were wide open as though he had just seen a ghost. I couldn't move. This was the first time I had ever seen a dead body and it seemed so…so…._unreal._ I felt hot tears stream down my face as I fell to the floor. I made no noise, everything seemed to go slower until my mother ran into the room using a spell to seal the door shut but even then I could not tear my eyes away from his.

"Ainsley!....AINSLEY!" finally I looked into the watery eyes of my mother and my eyes were pleading for an answer to all this.

"Ainsley, sweetie…" she was crying, "I need you to calm down okay?!"

It wasn't really a question but a matter of having to do it. I whimpered and hugged her.

"Honey, everything's going to be…fine." She choked out the last word. I knew she was lying but I wanted so badly to believe her. "Here's your wand….I need you to get out of the house right now."

I ripped myself away from her and looked at her in disbelief. I nodded my head in disagreement.

"No! I can't…I won't! Mom please!" I started crying once again.

She put my wand in my hand and closed her hand on mine. Tears were flowing down her face, "Please Ainsley, you're my child and I would do anything in this world to protect you."

"No mom I c-"

"Ainsley PLEASE! You are the last thing I have of your father!" she cried out, "Please Ainsley…you have to." She said in a lower voice.

I finally nodded in agreement, "okay." I replied meekly looking into her sad eyes.

She smiled at my reply, "Thank you sweetie." She gave me one last hug, "Always remember your father and I loved and will always love you."

"I love you too, mom." Identical tears stained our faces.

**BANG!**

I jumped at the noise.

"Go on!" my mother yelled. "Everything's going to be fine okay."

I ran towards the window and kicked out the screen, I gave my mother one last pleading glance and ran.

I ran and ran and ran, my mind so desperately wanted to go back but my feet would not let me.

I could hear my mother's screams as I kept running and the only thing I could think of was myself. I kept running because the sounds of my feet hitting the ground diminished the screams of my dying mother.

When I reached the beach I knew I would be fine since the beach was about 4 miles away from my house and it was right in front of the city. I climbed up the lifeguard tower, I knew it would be open since my friends and I always used the same tower to smoke or drink, but this time the tower was not used for festivities it was my shelter and my asylum. I sat down on the floor and leaned myself against the wall. That night I cried myself to sleep hoping that in the morning I would wake up to my mom's unusually cheerful morning singing.

Again…_Hopeful thinking._


	3. Chapter 3

I woke up to someone shaking me. I slapped the hand away from me and tried going back into a deep slumber until I remembered last night's events. The same hand shook me once more but as soon as I got up I had my wand pointed at the owner of the hand.

I faced a stoutly round middle aged man in a brown business suit. His face was distorted with the look of shock from my wand being drawn ready to attack him. It was silent for a few moments, both waiting for the other to make the first move. Finally he cleared his throat.

"Ahem...Yes Miss Cruz, I am Milton Crouse from the ministry of magic." He forced a small smile on his face but it ended up looking like a grimace, I kept my wand pointed at him and gave him a weary stare, not really sure if I should trust him. I could tell he was getting nervous because he kept stuttering and playing with the trim of his waistcoat.

"I can see that you are not going to lower your wand anytime soon, well after last night I understand why." He nodded taking in my appearance with a saddened look in his face.

"How do you know what happened?" I questioned as I slowly lowered my wand but kept it tightly grasped in my hand.

"My dear, it's all over the news…these are dark times." He stated solemnly

"What?...Why?" I had all these questions filling up my head.

"Could you please lower your wand I mean you no harm." He barked nervously. I lowered my wand but kept it close.

"Miss Cruz we can not talk among the muggle. Let us go somewhere more...private." he gave me his hand and I reluctantly stood up and grabbed it. Once my fingertips grasped his hand I suddenly felt dizzy and all my surroundings turned into one big blur of lights and colors.

Once I felt stable ground beneath my feet I looked around me and saw that we were now in an office. It was a bare orderly office, with a desk and 4 chairs.

"Miss Ainsley, please take a seat." He pointed his wand at a chair and it slid across the floor to where I stood.

"Thanks…its Kit." I stated taking my seat.

"Yes, well…Kit, the ministry and I offer our deepest sympathies to the events that have happened to you and your family." He said in a formal business tone.

I gave him a grunt in reply, noting that his apology sounded rehearsed with no sincerity in it at all. He continued talking about how tragic my situation was, but I spaced out not listening to any of the words he said, until he called me out on it.

"Miss Kit, I have the misfortune of telling you that since both of your parents are deceased and seeing as you are not of age, that you are now legally under the custody of the ministry of magic."

At this my temper started getting the better of me.

"What?! I have never even heard of a ministry of magic and what are you guys gonna do to me huh? What is there some magical orphanage in you magic world?" I spat out. He started fumbling over his words and he was gaping at my outburst.

"Well..umm….you see, when your father died he left all his possessions to your mother and your mother's last will and testament clearly states that everything would be passed down to you, so you have inherited all your parents money, houses, and belongings…." He took out a handkerchief and wiped off the sweat that had protruded his brow. "Again, seeing as your not of age we can not leave you to live on your own s-"

"So what happens to me then? Since I don't have any other family." I interrupted, trying to hide the tears that threatened to come out.

"Ahh yes. Well ," he turned to grab a piece of parchment, "As you can see here, you have an Uncle Darrian from your mother's side, residing in Bristol, England."

"That's great, but I don't know him and I'm sorry but I'm not about to go live with some family member I never met." I stated sarcastically.

"Yes we are well aware of your mother's estrangement from her family, but you would also be attending Hogwarts and would only have to go home during the summer. Unless you would like to come up with some other arrangement." He finished off his sentence nervously, he was staring at me waiting for me to have another outburst

I nodded in agreement.

"Well then I am very pleased that you will be attending Hogwarts this fall, but I am sure you would like to go pick up some of your belongings before your trip."

I nodded again, there was no need for a response if I could do nothing.


	4. Chapter 4

Once again he grabbed onto my hand and I felt that nauseating dizziness. This time I shut my eyes not wanting to see the world around me collide into rays of light and color. I opened my eyes once I felt my feet touch the ground. At first I didn't recognize the living room we were standing in but once I saw a broken blood stained picture of my mother and father on the floor I knew we were standing in my living room.

I could feel my eyes watering but Milton was clearing his throat, making his presence known.

I bent down to pick up the picture and walked to my room.

After packing everything from my bong to my records, I packed everything (with the help of magic) into two chests. As I made my way back to the living room I stopped at my mom's bedroom and stood there for what seemed like five minutes. Silent tears escaped my eyes and flowed down my face.

"Kit…ummm..are you ready?"

"Yeah, I'll be out in a bit." I wiped the tears from my face and took a deep breath and walked out of the room.

Milton was staring at the dried blood that stained the carpet and I could tell he felt sick by just being here, I cleared my throat to get his attention, "I'm ready."

And again the whirlwind of colors came in to my view. After a few minutes we were in a living room or a foyer of some sort. It was huge. The floor was a marble gray and white combination and the atmosphere of the house or mansion I should say, was one of regalness and luxury but the lack of warmth instantly told me I would never feel comfortable here.

"Master Darrien will be down shortly." A small little elf thing said curtly and walked into another room. I had never seen a creature like that in my life. I was questioning whether or not it was just a deformed human but I was suddenly taken out of my thoughts when a man with short dark brown hair walked down the stairs loudly obviously trying to make his presence known.

"You, must be Mr. Milton Crouse from the Department of International Magical Cooperation." He smiled curtly at Milton, and Milton being the fool he is blushed a bit from the compliment of being known. "And this …" he turned towards me, "must be Ainsley. My estranged niece."

Before I could correct this Darrien guy, Milton had spoken up, "Yes this is your niece, and you are here legally binded to be her guardian until she has come of age, Mr. O'Farren. Now I must be on my way, so I will let you get to it." And with that Milton left in a cloud of smoke and I was left alone with Darrien.

"I am sure you are well aware that I am your well was your mother's older brother, Darrien." He stated solemnly.

I nodded.

"So I understand you are to attend Hogwarts this fall, Ainsley?"

"Yeah, I guess. It's Kit by the way." I said awkwardly.

He gave me a dirty look and quickly retorted with, "Hogwarts is a great school. Your mother and I, along with the rest of our family went to Hogwarts as well. So you will be continuing a family legacy…_Kit."_ He pointed his wand at my suitcases and they levitated off the ground, "Follow me, I will take you to your room."

It's been about 2 weeks since I've moved in to this mansion and I've probably only seen Darrien 4 times, and in 2 more days I would be on my way to Hogwarts. I was indifferent to the whole aspect of a magical school to say the least. But I just wanted to get out of this mansion, I felt so awkward. Darrien had bought all my school supplies and he bought me black and white spotted kitten who I named Belvedere. Seeing as I now lived in England I got out every chance I got to explore the cities.

But in a few days I would be out of the "muggle" world and into an unknown and unexplored world of magic.


	5. Chapter 5

I had finally made it to the train station. Darrien actually apparated us to the station and after a curt and awkward good bye, he immediately left.

I made my way through all the kids and parents that were kissing them good bye. I felt the sting of tears in my eyes, wishing that my mom and dad could be here and wish me good luck at this place, but I knew it would never happen. I quickly composed myself and walked onto the train.

There was way too much talking. Screaming and yelling could be heard every door I passed, students were reuniting with friends and boyfriends or girlfriends. After walking so long with my suitcases I finally found a cabin all to myself. I needed a joint, and I needed it now!

I put Belvedere on the seat and I left my suitcase on the floor. I pulled down the blinds of the cabin to let people passing think that the cabin was full. I pulled the joint from my purse and stood on the seat. I cracked open the window and started smoking.

The train slowly moved, as smoke filled my lungs. My mind was starting to become fuzzy and I could feel the wave of relaxation come over my body. I closed my eyes as I brought the joint to my lips once again, inhaling the very substance that helped me cope with all the changes. I was so wrapped up in the moment of bliss and leisure that I didn't hear the door knob twist, but I did hear the voices that came through the door.

As soon as I heard the door swing open I turned to face the perpetrators but lost my balance, as I began to fall I let go of the joint, letting it fall to the floor and I started coughing. But before I hit the ground a pair of arms caught me. I tried to choke out a 'thank you' but I kept coughing and with each cough a cloud of smoke would escape from my throat.

I bent down grabbing the joint from the floor, and finally after catching my breath I looked up to see 3 boys standing in front of me. There was one boy with black messy hair with hazel eyes and wore glasses. One boy had sandy brown hair and looked more reserved than the dark haired boy, and the boy behind him looked awkward and misplaced with the other two. He was short and on the chubby side with an almost nude blonde color of hair and unlike the other two boys he wasn't anywhere near as attractive as the other two. Once again realization hit and the person's arms that caught me were still holding onto me. I turned to face the person and was met with a curious pair of grey eyes. They seemed intrigued and surprised. I was staring off into space when I remembered these were people and they probably wanted an explanation.

"Ummm… hi ?" I choked out with laughter.

It was silent. They all just stared at me like I was some 6 headed monster.

"I can stand." I stated abruptly noticing that his arms were still holding me.

"Oh, right." He let go.

"I'm Sirius by the way." He gave me a cheeky grin and stuck his hand out for me to take.

I scoffed at the name a bit, "Hi I'm Kit." I replied, ignoring his hand and sat down putting Belvedere on my lap. They all just stared at me in silence

"Umm, not to be rude but did you guys want something or are you just going to stare at me for the rest of the ride?" I questioned annoyed of how they were acting.

"We were wondering if we could sit in the cabin here, since all the rest are filled." The boy with glasses retorted.

"Yeah sure, take a seat."

The boy with glasses sat in front of me as the other two boys sat next to him. The boy named Sirius sat down next to me. But all of them still gave me weary glances, with the exception of Sirius his gaze was more of intrigue. The tension in the cabin was domineering and I had gotten sick of it.

"Listen, can we just not be awkward. Okay, so you caught me smoking big deal! I mean what do you guys do in this school for a good time?" I questioned in a rushed tone.

Sirius and the boy with glasses broke out in laughter and the other two boys just smirked in reply.

"So no wonder I've never seen you. I'm James Potter." The boy with glasses stuck out his hand and I shook it.

"I'm Remus Lupin." The sandy haired boy replied with a smile.

"And I'm Peter Pettigrew." The chubby boy said.

"So where are you from Kit?" The boy named James asked me.

"I'm from the U.S. but this is my first time going to a school for magic." I replied.

"So you're a muggleborn?" Peter asked very quickly.

I gave him a weary stare, "No both my parents were wizards." I gave them a curt answer hoping that they wouldn't press the issue of my parents.

I was happy when James moved on to another question, "What year are you? Were all 6th years."

"I'm gonna tell you the truth…I don't even know whats going on right now." I laughed, "I'm sorry, just at the moment…I'm not really here." I kept giggling.

"Okay, sorry I needed to get that out of my system." I smiled, looking at their amused faces.

We continued talking all through the train ride. I found out that all of the boys were in Gryffindor and that they loved some sport called Qibbish or something like that.

They were nice guys to say the least but I just wanted to sleep now. Once the train stopped we got off and they left me.

"Hope you get into Gryffindor." Sirius winked at me as he walked with his group of friends.

I still didn't get the concept of different houses, and they hadn't really told me much about them besides that there were four houses I could be put in. I followed the first years into this huge castle. I could not believe this was going to be home for the next 10 months of my life! This elderly man stepped up onto the podium and said his name was Albus Dumbledore, the headmaster and began his speech of the year. Professor McGonagall had started reading off names from the list of sortings. I was beginning to doze off when my name was called.

"Ainsley Kit Cruz."

I walked up in a daze and sat on the chair. I waited for something to happen when the HAT started TALKING!

"Very intelligent mind yet very temperamental. I see you have an immense amount of courage and loyalty to those you call friends. You have the heart and bravery of Gryffindor, but the resourcefulness and loyalty of Hufflepuff. A very curious mind you have my dear girl, you are ambitious and cunning and are wise beyond your years. You could fit amongst every house, and will succeed but which house will you become more powerful?"

I was beginning to get annoyed of this hat taking forever, "Could you just name a damned house already!" and as quick as the thought popped into my mind the hat yelled, "SLYTHERIN!"

The Slytherin table which was decorated in green and silver applauded my arrival whilst others just gave a polite acknowledgement of my sorting. I didn't even notice the four eyes that stared at me all the way I walked to the Slytherin table.


	6. Chapter 6

As I found a seat at the end of the slytherin table I could hear the people around me whispering and wondering about who I was. I tried ignoring the paranoid feeling of being watched and kept my eyes on the table in front of me until my thoughts were interrupted.

"Hello, my name is Rodolphus Lestrange. You look a bit too old to be a first year."

I looked up to answer the question and found myself staring at a boy with dark brown eyes that seemed to have a glint of cruelness to them and dark black hair to match the cold air he emitted with his voice. He could have been very handsome if he did not have the haughty higher-than-thou look about him, but I responded as friendly and warm as I could.

"Nice to meet you Rodolphus, as you heard my name is Ainsley, but please call me Kit. And I'm actually a sixth year." I smiled back at him hoping to get rid of his coldness but instead receiving a small smirk; before we could continue a conversation we were interrupted by another voice this time female.

"You're from the colonies correct?" a girl with black long hair and pale blue eyes, she was pretty except for the scowl that her mouth seemed to permanently be in. I rolled my eyes at the absurd question I was to answer.

"How'd did you guess that?" I asked with sarcasm, "Could it have been my accent?" a few people around me chuckling at the words I spat back at her. It seemed she caught on to my sarcasm and gave a deadly stare and went back to looking at the sorting ceremony trying to ignore the questions that were being thrown at me. As the sorting and feast continued I tried to look for the four boys I had met on the train, my eyes landed on them but they were preoccupied with laughing and talking to old friends. I kept my eyes on them for a bit longer when my eyes were met with the grey eyes of Sirius' I gave a small smile but he turned away quickly and did not look in my direction again. I sat staring at him confused as to what had happened. A whisper in my ear brought me back to reality,

"They call themselves the Marauders; you should avoid them by all means. They're annoying little prats and blood-traitors that too much time on their hands."

I turned to look at the person telling me all this and I was faced with soft green eyes which was in contrast to the voice I was hearing. He had light brown hair, angular cheekbones and thin lips. I gave him a doubtful look and asked. "And this matters to me why?"

He gave me an incredulous stare and spoke with a more authoritative tone, "You don't want to be seen around them if you want to get along in this house." I looked straight ahead of me not believing that on my first day I was already being threatened.

"Well thanks for the warning." I said with an annoyed look on my face. _*I guess I couldn't get along with everybody.*_

"If you need anything else to be cleared up for you my name is Evan Rosier." he emphasized his last name as though it would mean anything to me. I responded with a bored tone "What a pleasure."

He grabbed my arm firmly and pulled me closer, he whispered into my ear menacingly "You should learn to respect those superior to you!"

I pulled my arm away from him and turned to him angrily and nearly yelled out, "Understand this Rosier because I will only say this once no one is my superior, especially not some snot nosed over-privileged little shit like you!"

He stared at me dumbfounded by the way I spoke to him. I ignored his look and continued to eat the food in front of me, and him seeing that I was not willing to continue this conversation he recomposed himself and began a conversation with the girl next to him.

_*This whole house seems to be filled with assholes* _I thought.

A girl next to me pulled out of my thoughts and said, "Don't worry Evan is a bit rude and can be arsehole if he doesn't know, especially if you don't agree with him." she chuckled. "My name is Adrielle Greengrass." she stuck out her hand with a big smile on her face.

I shook her hand and took in the features of her face she had high cheekbones that complimented her small yet full lips and pale blue eyes.

"Hi my name is Ainsley but please call me Kit." I responded with a smile, she seemed nice enough and with this dinner I was definitely going to need as many friends I could get.

"Nice to meet you Kit." She smiled.

The rest of the feast and ceremony consisted of Adrielle and I talking non-stop about Hogwarts and the United States. We instantly clicked and I knew there was a friend in her. After the ceremony everyone stood up and began walking out of the dining hall.

"Come on Kit, we all have to head to the common room." Adrielle pulled my arm leading me to another group of girls.

"Oi Andromeda, Diane, Penny!" she ran up to them dragging me along with her. "I'd like all of you to meet Kit Cruz, the new transfer to Hogwarts. She's from the colonies!" she exclaimed. "Kit I'd like you to meet the girls that I have been my friends since first year and our probably the best looking girls in the school!" she laughed as a girl with light blonde hair and hazel eyes shoved Adrielle.

"Oh shut it Adri! It's nice to meet you Kit my name is Penelope but as you can see," staring at Adrielle, "everyone calls me Penny."

We all walked together I stayed quiet as each of the girls told their stories about summer and where they had gone with their families. Finally we got to the common room and to say that I was awed would be an understatement.

The room had 2 fireplaces lit up, velvet antique chairs in the slytherin house colors and 2 huge green couches. There were 2 big bay windows looking out into grounds of Hogwarts. It felt so regal and elegant and that was something I was not used to but the room was still warm and peaceful. People around me were running around talking to each other and gossiping. I was once again pulled out my amazement and wonder by Adrielle nearly screaming into my face.

"We're rooming together! You, Penny, Andy, and I! This is so great especially since I can tell you've got a great wardrobe!" She ran away to tell the other girls.

I laughed at her actions and couldn't wait to see what this school had in store for me, at this thought I began to feel somber remembering that I had no one to share my stories with once I got home. There was no home for me anymore.


End file.
